“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.”

-Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, 1811

My Inner Puritan and I have many struggles with the idea of “Vanity”. I rarely go anywhere without mascara (my eyelashes are blond otherwise!). Until this past year, I insisted on using a flat iron on my stick-straight hair daily.

Vanity vs. Pride in Self

If I learned anything from years of watching What Not to Wear it was that how you present yourself reflects very heavily on how you see yourself. Vanity in this case is a projected, public portrayal of your self-worth. It can go both ways. Sometimes, you feel down so dress “down.” Other times, you know your hair is obeying so you are more outgoing (so more people can see your lovely ‘do).

Don’t even get me started on Pride being another sin in and of itself. My guilt complex may just implode.

Vanity vs. Narcissism

If flights of vanity can be forgiven (or, indeed, are not something about which to seek forgiveness in the event that it is mislabeled pride), narcissism cannot. Right? However, sometimes the line between a “healthy” amount of pride and a “dangerous” level of narcissism is unclear. When is it too much?

Can pride and vanity really be separated that easily? It’s nice to tell yourself that you don’t care what others think of you (vanity) and that all that matters is your own opinion of yourself (pride) but do any of us live up to it regularly?

I was hoping to start a conversation today. Please share your thoughts!

For further reading, I loved the discussion here on Design Mom about make-up as a risk.

{Image: Zahia Dehar in V Magazine / Photography Sebastian Faena / Styling Carlyne de Dudzeele}