I started this series full of irritation at the casual and thoughtless ways that bodies are negatively brought into the conversation. As documented, it makes me bananas.
However, by solely highlighting the fat-phobic, I’m only telling part of the story. There are several wonderful websites dedicated to life outside the strict constructs how the media tells us to look. Today, I want to shine a little light on the awesome Axis of Fat and, specifically, their Fat Bride Survival Guide.
As we know, I’m all atwitter about weddings, so this article really spoke to me. It’s far too easy to get caught up in a stream of unhealthy and unproductive thoughts about your body while planning for the most photographed day of your life. No, I did not come up with that “most photographed” modifier on my own. I read it somewhere. Likely somewhere where they were trying to sell me something so I’d look better on this very documented of days.
Looking your best and looking your thinnest quickly become synonymous.
In the aforementioned article, Natalie shares the tips that kept her sane whilst wedding planning. The first guideline jumped out at me:
I also told my bridesmaids that I would not entertain negative body talk during the fittings. If they waited until I was out of the room, that was fine but I didn’t want dress fittings to be railroaded by unproductive and negative discussion!
I was recently in a House of Brides fitting room trying on bridesmaid dresses. I remember not fitting into the sample sizes. I remember feeling like total crap about not fitting into the sample sizes. I’m sure I spent some time vocalizing this crap-feeling.
I’ve noticed lately the effect my complaining about my weight has on those around me. I probably don’t need to tell you that this effect is not positive. Understandably, there’s only so much you can listen to someone else complain about their self-image before you start to question your own. My neuroses are contagious.
Body image is a struggle for me. It’s not easy. I have a hard time staying positive.
Baby steps, right?
For now, at least, I can watch what I say. I can take control of the vibe I put out, the comments I make, the frustration I show. Not just for others whom I may influence, but for myself.